Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A New Chapter Will Begin

After work I picked the kids up and then headed to church. I love our youth kids, the smile they bring to my face and then laughter to my heart. Every night is such an adventure with them. We headed home after and I bathed the kids, put on pajamas and then read the book, "Look out kindergarten, here I come." Off to bed my little boy went! Then it was time to pack the lunch, finish some forms and ponder what changes are coming.

Tonight marks the end of a chapter in our lives and tomorrow begins a new one. Our little boy is going to kindergarten. When I see that word, I have such a mixture of emotions. All week when people would ask me about it, tears would well up in my eyes. Part of it is such excitement but then there is the uncertainity that surrounds change. We have been through so much change this past year with church and my job that more change overwhelms me just a little. I'm so excited to see what Britton will learn, the friends he will make, and just watching him grow and change. I know he's ready.... But then there's a part of me that also knows that this is the beginning, the beginning of him finding his own way, of meeting new people, experiencing new things and then coming home to tell me about it. I think about not being able to spend my days off with him and it makes me a little sad. I think about the past 5 years and wish that I would have spent more  time in the moment with him. Could I have stopped cleaning or working and gotten down on the floor and played with him more? I know I can't live life with any regrets but where has the time gone? Didn't I just look over in the hospital at my baby boy, my little miracle boy? Didn't he just go to mother's day out for the first time, play soccer, go to the beach, say his first word and kiss his baby sister goodnight for the first time?

My sweet firstborn son is going to school. I am so unbelievably proud of him. For who he is, the decisions he has made, how smart he is, the compassion he shows and who he is becoming. I look forward with anticipation at the coming year.

I'm blessed that I have an amazing son who is looking foward to his first day of school. Who left kindergarten testing excited about Coopertown, who loves his teacher, Mrs. Sharpton, already and who can't wait to meet new friends.
I'm blessed that his teacher loves the Lord.
I'm blessed to have family and friends who will support us as we go through these changes.
I'm blessed to serve a loving God who knows my weaknesses and will support me through change.
I'm so incredibly blessed.

So as I go to sleep tonight I'm basking in the knowledge that he is going to be okay. That change is okay. That God always provides. That tomorrow will be a new day full of new experiences. That God loves me. That it's okay to  cry (just don't want him to see it! ) That tomorrow will be full of precious memories.

I love you Britton so incredibly much and am so proud of you! I can't wait to hear the excitement in your voice as you tell me about your day. Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring....

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