This week I'm 38 weeks pregnant. It's hard to believe how quickly and then again how slowly this time has gone by. I remember finding out I was pregnant, the sickness, feeling well and then slowing down again. So many changes have happened during this pregnancy as well - new job, sold our house, moved in with my parents, etc. It's hard to imagine at some points where it started. My thoughts this week have been that I have never been this pregnant before! Britton came emergency C-section at 35 weeks so I really didn't have time to think about it and Paityn was scheduled at 39 weeks. I've been still working but sitting in church on Sunday it dawned on me that I could actually go into labor this time. It's just not something that I've really thought about, so no, I don't have my bags packed or things all together.
This weekend Brandon and I enjoyed a date night out to PF Changs and shopping, it's nice to spend some "quiet" time together! While we were out a lady stopped me and told me how cute I look - this is exactly what every pregnant lady needs to hear! I laugh because I think everyone has told me different things and I can get the most random comments on the same day - you look fat and sassy, you sure it's not twins, you're too small, you can't even tell you're pregnant, you look great.... you never know what someone is going to say!
Today I headed to the doctor for my final visit. The C-section has been scheduled for May 7 for months but he's also been watching everything because of my history. They've changed so many of the rules now that it's difficult to have a baby before 39 weeks unless it comes naturally. My blood pressure has been up a little but when I got there today it was up a little more. He was also concerned about my swelling. So, I left the office today with a scheduled C-section for tomorrow. Overwhelmed, excited, nervous, scared, sad, happy....I think you could name any emotion and I would have it right now. I told Brandon we were having a baby tomorrow and then he tells me Britton's school just called and he's crying with a tooth that's about to fall out. Luckily he calmed down and then it was up to me to talk Brandon through everything!
Of course, we had to head for some retail therapy for him, Chick Fil A for lunch and then he went for a massage. Meanwhile, we found out the AC on my van needs to be fully replaced $800, my phone has not been working right and the monitor on our computer is shot. When it rains it pours.
Paityn and I headed to pick up Britton, stopped by our new house and then headed "home" to my parents. I remember having so many feelings before Paityn was born and wanting to capture every moment. We relaxed, played games, made supper and laughed. Papa ended up pulling out Britton's tooth for him and he didn't cry one bit. I got them ready for bed, said prayers and tucked them in.
And now, here I am overwhelmed by my thoughts. I think I've finally packed my stuff and am ready that way but have so many other things I want to accomplish. I went back to the night before Paityn was born and read my blog - Things I love.... Everyone asks if I'm ready. I think I'm ready for a newborn, it's the division of time that worries me the most. I remember after Paityn was born trying to just make sure I spent enough time with Britton as well and now there will be three. Britton will be an amazing big brother and Paityn will be an amazing big sister, how they will adjust we will see!
So I want to do another things I love, to remember where we are in this moment.
Britton I love -
- the way you love your sister
- the way you always watch out for her, aggravate her at times but snuggle up close and make sure no one will hurt her
- how much you've grown into such an amazing young boy
- how you love others, your friends and family
- hearing you read and the excitement in your voice
- listening to you memorize the Bible
- hearing you talk about heaven
- snuggling with you on the couch
- how excited you are about the simple things - a movie night, a slush at Sonic, coffee from Panera
- watching you play and your imagination
- watching you play soccer and your love for the game
- knowing what an amazing brother you will be to Beckett
Paityn I love -
- your attitude, you constantly make us laugh and have something to say. You know what you want and make sure everyone knows it
- how much you love your brother, he's always the first person you ask about when you wake up and you always want to be with him
- how you kiss my belly and have to hug Beckett goodnight
- hearing you pray every night and thank God for everyone in our family (you name everyone by name)
- how you know you already have your daddy wrapped around your finger
- watching you dance and comtemplate life
- snuggling with you
- hearing you talk about God
- watching you play and be a mom to your babies
- listening to you sing song after song
- watching you dance
- knowing what an amazing sister you will be to Beckett
These are just some of the things that make me so incredibly proud to be your mom. You both melt my heart daily, you aggravate me at times but hearing you say you love me and knowing that you mean it changes it all. I know that things are about to change, but my love for you both won't.
So tomorrow our lives change again. I know God created me to be a mom and can't wait to hold my little boy.